... or how to occupy two small children for an hour:
Take previously mentioned small children outside. Also take a plentiful supply of flour, a large tray (so you can delude yourself into believing the mess will be contained), assorted kitchen tools (two of each if you don't want disagreements) and a variety of small plastic animals.
Pour a heap of flour onto the tray, then add the children.
Take obligatory photos of messy children ....
... and any four-legged friends that were unfortunate enough to join in the fun! (Note floury patch above her right eye - she stubbornly refused to let me get a better photo.)